Just as I was about to explode intomy sister's finest panties Mom grabbed my hand and dragged me off to thekitchen to "fetch refreshments". The look on Kay's face as I slid mychair away from the table told me, in no uncertain terms, that she knewjust how close I had come. Her smile said it was our little secret.In the kitchen I breathlessly asked, "Mom, what the heck is going on? Ican't believe what I just saw. I can't believe what Kay was doing to meunder the table. My head is buzzing. I think I feel faint. I can't getthis buzz out of my head." Relax, Simon. Just relax. I told you we play cards and do 'girl stuff'.In case you haven't guessed by now, it's the 'girl stuff' that we reallyenjoy most. Look, putting on one of Elizabeth's dresses was all youridea. Frankly, I thought it was a crazy idea. But look how you turnedout. If you weren't my son, there's no way I'd ever know you were a boy.And, judging by Auntie Emily's and Kay's reactions, they seem to thinkyou're just as much a. . the real McCoy.It all started when Jim Bales (11 left wing for Logan Park) brought a huge wood carving representing a short-legged male with a head almost as big as the body, covered with carved tattoos. Right behind Jim was Albert Boko carrying a fine wood lattice work and behind him was Mattie Smythson carrying a Moa feathered dress.The three stood in front of me ... questioning.“Where did you find that?” Mr. Howard and I said almost like twins.“Where we’re cleaning,” said Mattie.“Middle window front room,” said Jim.“There’s lots more,” said Albert.Mr. Howard asked, “Why that room? It’s been locked and no key.”Albert, who was tallest, said, “Mr. Howard, you said best view of the water. Key was on the header. Rest of the keys above the other doors.“I suppose I should look,” Mr. Howard set down his cup and began to rise.“Don’t. Sit. I’ll go,” I said.Howard settled back. He’d had a Surprise day. I’m like that.“Well?” I said, “Lay on McDuff.”“And be damned to him who first cries Hold!.
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